A certainty of life...

... is death. But it is a subject that people don't like to talk of, not even to think about. Yet this is what the book How We Die - Reflections on Life's Final Chapter by Dr Sherwin B Nuland touches upon. Unlike in earlier times when people usually die at home, Nuland says that today "we have created a method of modern dying. Modern dying takes place in the modern hospital, where it can be hidden, cleansed of its organic blight, and finally packaged for modern burial. We can now deny the power not only of death but of nature itself."

He writes in his introduction, "I have written this book to demythologize the process of dying. My intention is not to depict it as a horror-filled sequence of painful and disgusting degradations, but to present it in its biological and clinical reality, as seen by those who are witness to it and felt by those who experience it. Only by a frank discussion of the very details of dying can we best deal with those aspects that frighten us the most."

In this book, Dr Nuland has chosen six of the most common diseases, which have "characteristics that are representative of certain universal processes that we will all experience as we are dying. The stoppage of circulation, the inadequate transport of oxygen to tissues, the flickering out of brain function, the failure of organs, the destruction of vital centres." These diseases are heart attack, old age, stroke, Alzheimer's Disease, AIDS and cancer. 

The book draws you into the experiences undergone by patients with serious illnesses, by doctors treating them, and by families and friends dealing with emotionally draining situations. Along the way, Dr Nuland describes what happens to the patients' bodies as life slips away. He is very matter-of-fact about this. At the end of the book, he tells us, "Nature has a job to do. It does its job by the method that seems most suited to each individual whom its powers have created... It is incumbent on us to remember that (death) is not only the way of all flesh but the way of all life, and it has its own plans for us. Though we find clever ways to delay, there is no way to undo those plans." 

And he slips in a quote by Shakespeare in Julius Caesar:

"Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,

It seems to me most strange that men should fear;

Seeing that death, a necessary end,

Will come when it will come."

Dr Nuland concludes, "The dignity that we seek in dying must be found in the dignity with which we have lived our lives... The art of dying is the art of living. The honesty and grace of the years of life that are ending is the real measure of how we die. It is not in the last weeks or days that we compose the message that will be remembered, but in all the decades that preceded them. Who has lived in dignity, dies in dignity."

Bookaholic's haven

Having discovered that there are cafes around the world dedicated to bookaholics, I wondered whether there are boutique hotels or bed & breakfast places for lovers of books. I wasn't altogether surprised to find out that there are - and one of them is in the city that I called home for four years of my life.

This charming place, Booklovers B&B, is in the city of Wellington, New Zealand. Located downtown, it is the place to stay for people "who love books, cafes and culture". The owner is herself a writer and she shares the story behind her B&B, "I hadn't thought of opening a B&B - but halfway through renovating, I realised the house would have to make a living... After serving breakfast, I mainly spend my days researching and writing... 'B&B lady' sounds like a comic role, but for me it's a wonderful balance with writing. It would be difficult to hear better stories than those told at my own breakfast-table or to meet more interesting characters than the people sitting there." The B&B's rooms are named after authors and when you leave, you get a selection of books to take home with you!

On the other side of the world, on Salt Spring Island in British Columbia, Canada, is a B&B called Between the Covers Bed & Breakfast. The owner is a writer of children's books and you can see where she gets her inspiration from. Imagine staying in this place, with a book in your lap, and looking at this view!

You might be so taken up with the scenery that you won't be able to read a page! Of course, the two rooms in the B&B come full of books and you may take one home with you. These rooms "overlook lavender and green fields hemmed by towering pines."

In Oregon, USA, at Nye Beach, is the Sylvia Beach Hotel, "a hotel for booklovers". Its rooms are named after famous authors and the one below is the Jane Austen room.

There are volumes of books in all the rooms and be warned - "there are no TVs, radios or telephones in the rooms. And no wi-fi." You have to enjoy the company of real-life people... and books, of course. 

For those who prefer a holiday in England rather than North America (distance being a main factor), there is a hotel for book lovers in Dorset. The Booklover's B&B is located on the first and second floors above the owners' bookshop. It has two rooms, one of which faces the sea. 

There are books aplenty in the bedrooms as well as in the sitting/dining room.

If anyone knows of such a hotel or B&B closer to home, please let me know.

Postscript - Su Blackwell's papercuts

My sister Zakiah posted this video on my FB wall:

So enchanting, don't you think?

I have, in fact, blogged about Su Blackwell's work in an earlier post.

My dream shop - still dreaming

I remember, years ago, having lunch with a few of my business friends, all high-flying career-women. After a while, we started imagining a life free from the stresses and strains of our corporate existence. And what we each wanted to do was to have a little neighbourhood shop - someone thought of selling flowers, another cakes, while I of course wanted my little dream shop of bookish things.

My little dream shop would be a cosy place, something like this:

Photo source

Wouldn't you feel so good when you walk into a place like this? It's so welcoming... and whiling away the time in the cafe at the back, with those delicious treats on your table, would be the best way to spend a part of your day. I don't think I'd have a problem stocking up the cafe with the most delectable delights - many of my cousins and friends are brilliant bakers!

My dream shop could also look like this one in Berlin, Germany. It looks rather modern but it still has that cosiness about it, I think.

Photo source

In Florida, USA, there is the Book Lovers Cafe, which also has outdoor patio seating. The outside tables do look like they have seen better days but doesn't that just add to the atmosphere?

Photo source

Perhaps my dream shop could be made of recycled wood and other materials. That, I think, would make it just perfect.

About the people

In 2007, I was commissioned by top Malaysian legal firm Zaid Ibrahim & Co (ZI, now known as ZICOlaw)  to write a commemorative book to mark the firm's 20th anniversary. The book would have to convey the essence of the firm's culture and work ethic. To do this, we decided to focus on people within and who had been with the firm, its clients as well as others who had worked together with the firm.

The book Looking Back, Moving Forward is "a book of recollections and reflections, of perceptions and perspectives." The major part of my work for this book involved interviewing various people, from partners to the despatch person. It was an interesting exercise and did indeed reveal a consistency in their experiences, which highlighted that the firm did have a unique organisational culture, one that had brought it to the pinnacle of the country's legal fraternity.

The book's totally black cover with silver lettering is stark and simple, and so is the layout. Each chapter is a collection of articles on selected individuals.  At the core of it all were, of course, the two people who had been instrumental in the firm's development, i.e. founder Datuk Mohd Zaid Ibrahim and managing partner Chew Seng Kok.

Datuk Mohd Zaid Ibrahim

Chew Seng Kok

Datuk Zaid related how ZI "began as a one-lawyer show, with one secretary and one office staff member, accepting any kind of work. Then, the Malaysian government embarked on its privatisation programme and the firm got a foothold in the North-South Expressway project. ZI teamed up with a London City firm and had sufficient work to take in a few lawyers."

Chew Seng Kok told of how he chose to move "from the world's largest legal firm to one that had about nine lawyers on its payroll, preferring to leave behind a large, private, corner office with a view of Singapore's waterfront to take up one corner of ZI's open-plan office, which was by then situated in the Bank Pembangunan Building on Jalan Sultan Ismail." He did it because he bought into Zaid's vision to build up ZI into an international-class legal force.

And they succeeded. In the process, the firm attracted some brilliant people, all driven by a common purpose and governed by the same values. 

Some celebs read...

Next to bookshops, I love libraries but I have to admit that I've not visited any in our country in decades. When my siblings and I were in school, our father would take us on some weekends to the British Council library, where we would spend the morning and leave with borrowed books tucked under our arms. The library that I really enjoyed being in was that of my alma mater. Who wouldn't, when you have views such as this? I think I spent more time looking out the window than reading my text-books!

I found this website, which is all about libraries - public and private. Amongst others, the site features the libraries of some celebrities - singer/musician Sting; actress Diane Keaton; producer/director/actor Woody Allen; and designer Ralph Lauren. Can you match the library with the celebrity?

Well, these libraries belong to, from top to bottom, Diane Keaton, Sting, Ralph Lauren, and Woody Allen. Did you guess right? 

Here's one more library belonging to a celebrity, and you wouldn't have a hard time naming him.

Their libraries are really impressive, don't you think? I hope they do read the books they have and that the libraries are not just 'must-have' rooms in their houses, like swimming pools and mini-movie theatres.